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"I'd rather be spooning"
- 163 Friends
- 500 Reviews
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- 55 Firsts
- 105 Fans
- 78 Local Photos
- 13 Lists
Review votes:
1015 Useful, 1308 Funny, and 1373 Cool
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San Francisco, CA
Yelping SinceFebruary 2006
Find Me Ina Papa Bear chair drinking a Tanqueray and tonic
My HometownSan Francisco
My Blog Or Website My First ConcertPere Ubu
My Favorite MovieRushmore
My Last Meal On EarthDiet Coke
Most Recent DiscoveryI have ridiculously straight teeth
DateSan Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 252-8868
Happy Donuts
Category: Donuts
Neighborhood: SOMA
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(10)
San Francisco, CA 94108
(415) 362-2323
Shimmer
Categories: Women's Clothing, Tanning
Neighborhoods: Union Square, Nob Hill
For the past two weeks I have been desperately trying any and all methods to getting that "glow" and no I'm not talking about being pregnant.
I have tried sunless tanning gels, creams & lotions. I have tried boiling in the sun on a blanket of tinfoil. I have tried several spray tanning facilities across our city. I had been unhappy with the results. Some of them worked, but man... what an effort on my part. Too much maintenance. Also, aside from the natural way and spray tanning, all the other options make me look orange, not brown. Gross. Orange is not a sexy skin color.
Well, yesterday I tried Shimmer for the first time (as recommended to me by Nicole G.) and let me tell you.... I AM IN FAKE TAN HEAVEN.
Shimmer has the newest spray tanning machine. It distributes the spray perfectly and then quickly blow dries your body so that it's even and not streaky. Shoot forward to today and I look like I just got back from Bora Bora. I am so tan.
The facilities are really convenient if you work/live downtown (which I do). They also reserve lunch hour for their repeat clients, which I think is really nice of them. You also get a free spray tan coupon with your first purchase. I love this place. I wish I could move in.
Best spray tanning machine everrrr!
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(15)
San Francisco, CA 94102
(415) 621-6543
Isotope Comics
Category: Comic Books
Neighborhood: Hayes Valley
So now that we got that out of the way... I was surprised when I accidentally stumbled into Isotope.
Why? Many non-comic reading (or buying, rather) folk would assume that this is just another comic store. Far from! ALL comic book stores smell like online gaming and look like dogshit. I'm sorry, but they do. And you know what? That doesn't bother me! But it should be noted that that's the norm for comic book store design.
Isotope successfully designed a BEAUTIFUL comic store that is SUPER BADASS and would MAKE STAN LEE proud. It is AWESOME. Plush red sofas, lots of metal, it's sexy. It reminds me of a 1957 Dodge Coronet (this one: http://www.dodgecorone...).
But anyway, I DO really appreciate the fact that Isotope takes the "we're grown-ups" approach to design and actually TRIES to make it a nice-to-visit space. Because, well, it IS a nice store to visit.
If I were more comfortable around that many cool dudes I would have gladly curled up on one of their red sofas (see photos) and read some B+W crime novel or tried to talk to a hottie about how I really like Brian Wood and his style, how he is kinda like a new, hipster version of Transmetropolitan, etc. But alas, I am not.
Anyway, this store gets 5 funtastic stars. I love it and I can't wait to go back! Maybe I will score a date (or at least some Halo Jones) next time.
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San Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 495-9800
B Restaurant & Bar
Categories: American (New), Lounges
Neighborhood: SOMA
Firstly, the location. The location is perfect because it's not easy enough to find that it'll be packed all the time (but it would be if it were somewhere else, see their Oakland location), but there is still a good crowd during lunch and happy hour. I also can't deny that if you're sitting outside or in the restaurant you've got great views of not only Yerba Buena Gardens but also the ever changing downtown skyline (hello, Contemporary Jewish Museum!). It's beautiful. Oh, and also babes. Babes are always around. Whether they're working at B or dining, babes. Eye candy is important when you're lunching or brunching.
The staff. I love the staff. Specifically, I love Paul the bartender. Paul works a double on Tuesday so you will find me there every Tuesday (after noonish Scrabble in the gardens with my ladies!). The staff is awesome. Don is awesome. Everyone is awesome. You could not have a better group of people taking care of you.
The food. The food is great, and the menu changes seasonally. I'm a big fan of the fried green tomatoes.
Cocktails! If you're a girl, get the Love On. Otherwise, taste away! They've got a pretty great list of inhouse cocktails that always make me happy.
That's it. I love B. We're getting married. It's settled.
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1 Previous Review: Hide »
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04/12/2007
This is a fantastic place to unwind by drinking copious amounts of cocktails (they have really innovative and interesting cocktails here) in the middle of the day.
The day bartender is also a babe.
Good drinks plus eye candy? My type of spot!Was this review …?
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(6)
San Francisco, CA 94110
Bacon Dog Cart
Categories: Food Stands, Hot Dogs
Neighborhood: Mission
I am a cow. Mooo.
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1 Previous Review: Hide »
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11/30/2007
"I'm a virgin." I told her.
"It's OK... once you try them, you'll realize what you're missing." I was nervous. They seemed so big and, well... I feel like I was raised right, and this just seemed wrong.
"This one will be bigger than what you'll usually have, but it's a good place to start,"
"But Sarah, you're my best friend and it's Saturday night at 1:15AM at we're at Dalva and we just exercised downtown for 90 minutes and we didn't eat dinner because we like being skinny and it's not like these bodies come for free and to be honest I just didn't think my first time would be like this. Drunk at a bar, in a room with a bunch of strangers."
But, like most of my fellow females know, you finally give in to the peer pressure.
After many long talks and deep yearnings we decided to split a hot dog wrapped in bacon covered in what appeared to be grilled onions, ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise.
At first bite I felt like I was betraying my body. "Why am I doing this?" I thought. Well, darlings, I did it because that shit is fucking delicious and as a foodie I feel like it's natural progression to try disgusting and delicious cart food at 1:15AM in the Mission. At least that's how I justified it.
But, in the end, it was worth it. I mean, I know there will be other bacon wrapped hot dogs in my future that will be consumed under better and more romantic circumstances, but I'm happy I got to step my game up a notch and get the deflowering out of the way.
A+++!Was this review …?
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San Francisco, CA 94114
(415) 522-1234
Tan Bella
Category: Tanning
Neighborhood: Castro
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Original 2nd review:
I am a very pale person and to be honest I was really into it until I accidentally fell asleep in the sun a few weeks ago and now have tan lines. I hate tan lines. Tan lines are trashy. On the flip side, I've also found a new love for my darker than usual skin. It's like I'm glowing. I want to show it off, I want to embrace my tan (sans lines). Thank God I live in San Francisco where we don't even see the sun half the time so I can just wear an elbow length shirt and my tanned arms will show through but no one will see my ugly shoulder tan lines. Oh wait, we're currently having a heat wave here in San Francisco so all I want to do is run around outside with as little clothing as possible on. But like, I have these tan lines (they're bad). I can't be seen with tan lines. So, what's a girl to do? Get a spray tan, of course. It'll fix everything without any of the hassles (of baking in the sun!).
I've been doing spray tanning for special occasions since it hit Union Street back when I was in High School. But, I know my limits. My skin is very pale and very dry, so if I get spray tanned it'll only look good for a max of two days. This works out. I did it the day before prom, I did it the day before our beach BBQ extravaganza... and then after 48 hours I slink into the shadows for a few days while I act and look like a leper.
Tan Bella is a great place. The spray tanning machine is super cool. Don't tell anybody but when I'm in there I pretend I'm Picard from the Enterprise and that the Borg have got me and I'm going through processing. CHUNK CHUNK CHUNK CHUNK CHEW CHEEHCHCE. That's the sound the spray tan machine works. Then you open your eyes and it's just this crazy brown mist. Loves it!
Anyway, be careful if you're a pale white chick, because the odds of this: http://www.yelp.com/bi... happening (that's me!) after 48 hours are very likely. Even with tons and tons and tons of lotions afterwards.
1-star deducted because they really need air conditioning in there.
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Surprisingly, we were able to grab drinks at the bar with relative ease, although a lot of people we ran into had the opposite to say.
So, clearly there was no place to sit. Which isn't horrible, especially since it was still early (8ish) so I could be on my feet for my late happy hour. Plus, with the heels I was wearing I think standing was perfect for people watching and also eye fucking, both of which I did a lot of. I mean, Jesus. I didn't even know San Francisco had this many guys in it.
We eventually scored a sofa and it was perfect. The ocean breeze was sort of coming in, the lighting was on point, and my posse was having a great time.
4 stars!
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10/19/2006
When you put an architect, industrial designer, interior designer, furniture designer, fashion diva, a uhh... pot grower, and stylist together at a table for dinner, you'll probably have a lot of opinions flying around about whether or not some aspect of the space is total bullshit.
Not at Americano! We were all really happy. The first few times I had been there I was pretty toasted, so I didn't really notice anything. When I went completely sober (but didn't leave that way) I realized how freakin' hot it was. The different textures are totally cool. I'm loving all the fabric and stone. Not a huge fan of the sorta maze to the bathroom, as I think any place that serves liquor should make the bathrooms as easy to get to as possible. The patio is totally sweet because you aren't going to be too cold or too hot. Loves it! People always complain about the crowd, but whatever, I was there with my friends and didn't notice if anyone was rolling their eyes or not.
BUT! Before the majority of our party arrived my girlfriend and I grabbed a drink at the bar. The men there were very aggressive! I have never felt so eye raped in my life.Was this review …?
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San Francisco, CA 94114
(415) 865-0353
Given
Categories: Jewelry, Home Decor, Bookstores, Art Galleries
Neighborhood: Castro
Anyway, the store itself is fucking awesome. I love the wonderful permanent wall art (designed and painted by a store employee), the warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you go inside (it's a very welcoming environment), the dog that seems to live there.
The furniture itself is not only good looking but also priced really well. The sectional I was eyeing was $2,400. That's a great price for a sectional.
They also sell table top stuff. Now, I have grown weary of "table top and gift" stores. They are a dime a dozen and really, let's be honest here... do you really need napkin holders? Really? Thankfully, Given breaks the stereotype and peddles really great table top items that you might not need but actually could USE. Really, really, really cool silicone (easy for clean-up) placemats, great looking plates, fantastic coasters. I love it!
Hip, funky, and contemporary, but without the pretentiousness of LIMN or the kitsch factor of Therapy (the store, you silly goose!). A nice happy medium between the two. 5 stars!
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San Francisco, CA 94109
(415) 771-3206
Ocean Aquarium
Category: Pet Stores
Neighborhood: Nob Hill
The folks that work here are die-hard aquatic creature fanatics. I can ask them vague questions about Kirk's (my (now dead) betta fish) dropsy and they'll answer in grave detail. I can ask them about the importance of Tenderloin water filtration for tanks and they have charts to show me. These people do not mess around.
If you're in the market for anything freshwater, whether it be fish or plants or rocks or or or you NAME IT then this is the place to go. A+
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San Francisco, CA 94109
(415) 359-1600
Owl Tree
Category: Lounges
Neighborhood: Nob Hill
The story behind the Owl Tree is that in the original contract (or whatever) that Bobby C. drafted up about the Owl Tree being sold there was a mandatory requirement that the name stay the same, regardless of ownership. And the owls? Apparently they were sold off and NOT by the new owner. One more star has been given.
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I think it's really unfair that the new Owl Tree gets to keep its old Yelp listing.
The ownership has changed, the interiors have changed, the employees have changed and the drinks have changed. It wasn't even open for a little over a year. The only thing that's still there is the name, which I find to be a big slap in the face to anyone who could call the original Owl Tree their local bar. It's even got a new sign (but the same name!).
So, aside from what a consider to be totally inappropriate and unprofessional business decision, this bar still sucks.
Let's talk interiors, shall we? That is the only reason the new Owl Tree gets an additional star. It's nice in there. The wood panelling is fantastic. The lighting is suburb. I love the booths. Let's move on.
Velvet rope? Red carpet? Creepy owl mosaic that looks like a sloth? And that's just the exterior.
Why do they have wall-mounted plasmas? Is the new Owl Tree a sports bar? They aren't open during the day, so what gives? Especially considering how much time, effort and money that went into the lighting, I really don't understand why the have two gigantic wall-mounted plasmas that (when I was there) only play MTV (Tila Tequila will find true love!) or TMZ. It's distracting and it's bad design.
The cocktails! Hm. Okay, so like any new bar, I want to try their signature drinks. The cocktail list is not innovative. Tinis, cosmos, the norm. I ordered their gimlet (right on the speciality menu). The bartender didn't know how to make it. She kept asking me questions that didn't make sense. When the drink finally was finished, I gave it a swig and almost spit it out. It was wayyyy too sweet.
The crowd! Oh, the crowd. I was there on a Saturday evening. Prime time. There were entirely too many older gentlemen who were inappropriately wasted. Not like, your local drunk at his dive. No, these were creepy touristy guys who were leering at the girls. There were also a bunch of frat-esque guys. What? At Post and Taylor? Where am I? Now, I'm pretty adaptable to literally any social environment, but this was just out of hand. The majority of the patrons had such a lack of respect for their surroundings. Not fun at all. Where's the class, new Owl Tree? Can't you try to embrace at least ONE other quality that the original had (besides the name)?
My opinion? This place sucks. The bartenders can't make their own basic cocktails, the crowd is creepy, there are two very distracting large plasmas, and they don't have a jukebox.
Never again, and Bobby is turning in his grave. I can't believe they'd disrespect someone as legendary by doing this. What a fucking disgrace.
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02/25/2006
The thing about Owl Tree is that there are always dandy's everywhere. Maybe it's a Yahoo Group meetup spot, I don't know, but I like it. The bartenders are super friendly, and it's dog friendly! The interior is designed very nicely, although you can tell it wasn't really intentional. Lots of seating at the bar, lots of seating at tables for large groups. Oh, and if you're a girl make sure you check-out the bathroom upstairs. You'll feel like you're in a dollhouse.
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Lists
13 ListsHey look! It's my ROTDs!
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Sexiest hotel lounges in…
From cute and quant to sleek and sexy, these are the best hotel bars to grab a…
This is my 500th review, and I'm not going to make a big deal of out it.
Happy Donuts is fantastic. You can buy donuts there. I mean, you can't really fuck up a donut, but whatever.
Also, great location!!$*!$&!
Whew, I'm happy this is over.